Blessings Come in All Forms

Recently a good friend of mine came to me for advice. Her situation really made me stop and consider my beliefs and convictions.

My friend’s 17-year-old daughter was pregnant. She asked me what to do.

Since I have two very young sons, this situation is something that I never will personally experience, at least not from the same perspective as my friend.   

At first, my friend said she felt like she had failed in teaching her daughter to abstain from having sex so early in life and in making responsible decisions when it came to being sexually active and using birth control. And I have to admit I would feel the same shortcomings as a parent if I were in the same scenario.

But then I began to think about the bigger picture.

My parents instilled in me that premarital sex was something not to engage in, especially in high school. But I was also taught and firmly believe that all children are conceived for a reason, a reason that we may never know, no matter who the parents are.

So now I was torn as to which belief was more prominent. Was this pregnancy a blessing or a mistake? My personal indecision made it more difficult fore me to help my friend through this time.

Many of us knew girls in high school who got pregnant and had children. I always felt bad for them because they were unable to be involved with school activities and friends like I was.

But I also thought how wonderful for them to have the blessing of a child.
 
Having been presented this situation by my friend, I’ve given it a lot of thought.

There is a very small chance that a child be conceived each month. Most women only have twelve to thirteen days a year which it can happen, which is about 3.5% of the time. Plus everything has to be just right for a pregnancy to occur. Those are very slim odds indeed.  

After a lot of soul searching, my friend also began to look at the pregnancy as a positive thing for her daughter and their family. It may not have been in their ultimate plan, but who is to say that we always know what is best for us.

Soon after accepting the news of the soon-to-be new arrival, and even becoming a little excited about it, my friend called me with some bad news. Her daughter had lost the baby at about 14 weeks.

There was no medical reason to explain why. But for as much initial turmoil this situation created in their world, the loss was just as devastating.

My friend, her daughter and their family have become closer through everything that has happened the last few months. It has given them a chance to reevaluate themselves both as individuals and as a family unit.

We can look at this situation on so many levels. It’s up to each of us to individually decide where the blessings lie in situations just like this.

But one thing is for sure: Blessings come in all forms.

Former radio personality Carey DeBeaux, who  grew up in Rio Rancho, is now raising two sons with her husband Tim. Her column on family life will appear on a regular basis. Click here to contact her.