You Can’t Fix Stupid




First off, let I be accused of plagiarism, I acknowledge up front that the title of this recurring column comes from comedian Ron White.

He also tells a story about being arrested outside of a New York City bar and getting into a beef with the NYPD. His punch line for that tale is, “I had the right to remain silent, but not  the ability.”

Same here.

Maybe I am turning int a chromogen in my advanced years. (I’m tempted to tell you that if you do not know what a chromogen is to look it up, perhaps by using a dictionary instead of Google, but that would cement my chromogen credentials. I’ll save you some time. Translation: Grouchy Old Fart).

But I digress.

It just seems to me, no matter where I turn, that there is an abundance of dumbness in our world today. I hope if you see something that just blows your mind, you will share it with me at Or feel free to text it to 505-304-1265.

Here is entry No. 1.

A while back I noticed the right-side entrance door at the Rio Rancho post office had a sign noting that the door would be locked at 5:30 p.m. Since I get my mail through a post office box inside the building, I was disappointed because I thought my access was being shut off at a rather early hour.

A couple of weeks ago I happened to be driving by the post office well past the appointed time. And I was surprised to see someone coming out of the building.

I didn’t think much of it at the time; it was not worth a special stop. I figured I would investigate a couple of days later when I needed t stop and get my mail.

I started to brave the line but then noticed there was a sign on the left-hand door. Since I don’t drive in England, I generally enter the door on the right side. (Except for Target, where the entrance is on the left side. More stupidity.)

Back to the post office, where the sign on the left door said it would be locked at 10 p.m.


Yes, you are reading right. Two doors entering the same lobby, only a few feet apart, yet being locked at different times.

Not only that, but according to the sign, the doors are UNLOCKED at different times. The door on the right is open at 5 a.m.; the door on the left at 6 a.m.

Think about it. That means somebody has to make four trips to the doors, to perform the locking/unlocking chore. An efficient use f time, right?

Not only that, anybody want to take a guess as to how much the painter charged the USPS to put these idiotic signs on the door?

Journalistic standards say I should make some inquiries about all of this and attempt to get answers to the questions I have posed, and one more — Why? I understand if there had been some vandalism or liability concerns of having somebody in a building when no employees were around. But in that case, why not lock and unlock the doors at the same time?

For now, I was so flabbergasted at this insanity that I haven’t fulfilled my duty as a reporter to try to get some answers. Maybe the next time I stop I during “business hours I’ll ask. That is if I can find a postal worker who is not busy securing or unsecuring, if that is a word) a door someplace.


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